I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
