i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
high people should be assigned attendants
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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