Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Operation Purity has been aborted
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
