Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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