someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize