So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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