Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
