he puts the penis in happiness.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
even my farts smell like vagina
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
