If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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