I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
