We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
