I think I just saw someone hide a body.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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