I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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