omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
