you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
