my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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