I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
