dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
