There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
