4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
