meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
