oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
