Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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