A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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