OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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