Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
