just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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