so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
