I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Only a mothe r could love this liver
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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