you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
