you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
