just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
