Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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