They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
