You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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