She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
