please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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