Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
