I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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