Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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