making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
