we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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