He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
