oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
