How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i already hear my dad disowning me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
