they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
