btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And then he peed in my hair
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