Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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