My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
