I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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