I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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