part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
