I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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