I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
