Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
