Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize