i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize