...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
