She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
