don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize