I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
