Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
