I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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