no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
